Chickie Dee's Blog(:











{May 28, 2013}   Moving on

In case you didn’t assume this based on my lack of posts since Groundhog Day, he left me.  I’m moving on with my life and I’m okay with that.  The majority of my updates from this point will be made on my other blog. It’s been a little bit neglected lately and I think it fits this time in my life a bit better.  Please follow me now at http://abeautifullybrokenclaire.wordpress.com/ and I will really appreciate it(:

Advertisements


{February 2, 2013}   Day 26

Sometimes, it sucks being a grown up. Actually, scratch that. It sucks MOST of the time. I guess it’s because I’m about to have to file my taxes for the first time. Maybe it’s because I’ve had some crazy random bills due this week and minimum wage only goes so far. Maybe it’s because of all of these things, but I know that it hasn’t made my first few months in full-fledged adulthood very fun. All I know is that I miss my sweetheart.

I’m going to write him again tomorrow. I want him to be able to hear from me and not worry. Really, though, I think he is worried because so far I’ve gotten more letters back from him than his family. He was worried before he left that I would get tired of waiting on him to come home and that I would leave him. It wasn’t going to happen but it didn’t help that friends, family, and every freaking person he encountered in the military told him he would probably get a “Dear John” before he even graduated. Some even went so far as to say that I wouldn’t even have the common courtesy to send him one and that he would just never hear from me and get the hint slowly and painfully. I’m glad people think so much of me 🙂 ugh.

Being an adult at the ripe-old age of 18 is hard. Yes, I still live with my dad in his house, but other than that, I’m pretty self-sufficient. I mean, obviously; I have my own bills. I would dare say that the majority of people I graduated with do not know how to balance a checkbook. And that the ones who do would not know if they hadn’t taken economics, which showed you step-by-step something that I thought was common knowledge, but whatever.

Today’s just been an icky day and I’m kind of being hateful because of it. I got really busy and overwhelmed at work. So much so that my manager had to come help during the lunch rush (a shift I don’t usually work). Ice fell on the floor and melted. Long story short, I fell and busted my ass in front of God and everybody. Even the guy at the drive-thru was laughing hysterically. My manager said I looked like a ballerina on the way down. Someone even tipped me $2 for the show. Yeah.

At first I thought I was just embarrassed, but when I had about 45min left to go before I got off, I felt my knee swelling. I got off and decided to go spend some time with Chris’s mom. I ended up staying for dinner and leaving just before 10pm. She let me wear her knee brace and made me keep ice on it to try to keep the swelling down, but I still have a nice, deeeeeeeep bruise. I’ll live, but I’ve got to work again tomorrow so it’s going to be a long day.

You know, I still wish Chris was here to kiss my knee and make it better ❤



{February 1, 2013}   Day 25

I wish I had a better way to contact him. I’ve been missing him so bad lately. The letters and calls are few and far between but since that’s all the contact I get, it’s the only thing keeping me sane. We used to go out to dinner on the weekends, but now I’m working. A lot. When I’m not working, I spend my Sundays sitting my the phone with his mom just PRAYING that he’ll get to call us after he gets out of chapel. It’s a sad way to live. Life will be so much better when he gets back.

We’ve also been semi-planning his “Welcome Home” party. We have a partial guest list and several food ideas. He will just be happy to get to see everyone again all at once. Everyone at the party will, of course, feel the same way. The last letter or so I got from him he said that he had never realized just how much everyone loves him until he got letters from anyone and everyone he could think of. Getting letters from family is crucial. Letters from friends are better. Getting letters from both and then some really goes a long way as far as morale goes. I’m so thankful to people who have stood behind him (and us) in this trying time. He doesn’t realize it yet, I don’t think, but he will be met with opposition when he goes into the world as a soldier for the first time.

Tomorrow, I’m going to try to get a buddy or two for Sherpa. I’ll also need a bigger cage. Of course, I have to write to Chris about this and he’s probably going to lose it. Sherpa’s tail freaked him out and he wouldn’t even touch him. I’m not sure how he’s going to react, but as long as he doesn’t have to physically handle anything, I don’t think it should be a big deal… I hope…



{January 31, 2013}   Days 23 and 24

Day 23

I was kind of in a funk after getting TWO letters AND a phone call yesterday… I had a bad day at work and it got worse when I got home. The weather was bad and I’m hoping no one was hurt where we had tornados touch down a few counties over. Chris has a lot of family there and his mother spent of today checking on them. I slept in the closet under the stairs because I didn’t want to wait up to see how the storms were going to play out.

Day 24

I really am spoiled haha! I got another letter today. I picked it up after another long, hard, stressful day at work. It was good to get to look forward to something so wonderful. No one understands. I will run home to a letter from him faster than I will run home to Chris himself. It might be bad to say, but it’s true because one is much more rare than the other.

Also, and he’s going to kill me, but I got a call about getting two new rats today. Fairly close and absolutely free. Sherpa will be very, very excited to have some friends. He won’t know what to do with himself, though, because one of the rats (both males like Sherpa) sounds like he is a natural alpha. Yes, rats establish hierarchy just like any other mammal. I’m kind of excited 😀 The rats were to keep me busy putting my affection into something while Chris is gone and if buddies will keep Sherpa from being depressed and they need a good home anyway, two more won’t hurt a thing.

Well I can’t tell if it’s because I had a particularly hard day at work or because I tried to play Harry Potter last night when I went to sleep, but I can’t quit yawning long enough to keep my eyes from watering. I can’t wait to send some more bulk letters to Chris. I love him and need him desperately so every time I hear something it lifts my spirits. I hope for another phone call in the next few days. Please pray for his momma and me because I really feel like we are flirting with our breaking points as far as how long we can go while hearing so little from him.



{January 28, 2013}   Day 22

I was so incredibly blessed today! I didn’t just get one letter, I got two. On top of that, we got the first phone call from him in two weeks. His mom and I sat around missing him so bad all day and reminiscing and it was almost like he knew we were talking about him so there he was! God knew we were really missing him bad today and needed to hear from him. I’m on cloud nine right now I can’t hardly stand it 😀

Tomorrow we are planning on taking some pictures to get developed so we have something to send to him. He’s been asking for pictures for a week and I sent one but it was Saturday when I did that so I doubt he’s gotten them yet. When he gets the picture he’ll also be getting about 10 letters because EVERYONE sent letters the same time. Does anyone know if they can have disposable cameras? The only things they told us NOT to send him were alcohol, tobacco products, weapons, food, and nude pictures. Since a disposable camera is none of those things, I would assume that it would be harmless but I didn’t know if anyone else had tried. I thought it was a good idea to have him take pictures and send it back so we can get them developed and see what’s going on in his new life up there(:

Hope everyone is doing well! I’m going to research the disposable camera deal a little more. Night all!



{January 27, 2013}   Day 21

Well, you know what they say: it takes about 21 days to create a habit. I wonder if “they” would take into consideration that I’ve doubled up on days twice due to sleep deprivation.

Anyway, I spent the day with Chris’s mom. As promised, we went to church and then to a baby shower. After the baby shower, we went to see her Nannie, who she hadn’t seen in 10yrs or so. When we left there, it happened:

I was running out of gas and we had a 10min drive to the nearest gas station. I had enough gas to make it into the parking lot and that was it. When I say that was it, I mean the car sputtered and tried to stall just as we got in sight of the gas station and I coasted into the parking lot. I went to get my debit card to get gas and it had disappeared. We tore the car apart trying to find it. She didn’t have her purse and I had nineteen cents scraped up from the floorboards when we were done. I called the place where we had gotten breakfast and it was never returned to me after I paid. I was glad I knew where it was, but it wasn’t going to do me much good when I was 20min outside the middle of nowhere with no gas.

So I talked to the attendant and explained the situation and asked if I could give him my name, number, and driver’s license number in exchange for a gallon of gas. I told him I would come back within an hour and pay for it. Crazy thing? He agreed. No taking my name or numbers either, he just believed me. I thought that was amazing(:

After running back and forth taking care of that, I took Chris’s mom home and went to pick up a friend of mine to go get her groceries and give her a ride back to campus. I have easily driven 200 miles today. I am also ridiculously tired having only exercises my lead foot. I wish Chris had come with us so he could have seen everyone. Everyone else certainly wanted to see him.

So, having done all that, I’m ready for bed. I’m also anxious to see tomorrow if I remember to make a new post on my own or whether I’ll have to be reminded. Oh well, we’ll have to wait for that answer. Ta Ta(:



{January 26, 2013}   Days 19 and 20

So because I’ve gotten lazy, I skipped yesterday. I’ll explain why, though:

Day 19

Dad and I went to both schools that messed me up and tried to get me enrolled. The thing is, though, they’re already two weeks into classes. I finally got to see my grades… They weren’t good… I failed three of my four classes and the other class is still an incomplete. I have to turn in a massive research paper tomorrow by 5 and I’m only half way done with it. Dad was pissed. He was already mad because he thinks I orchestrated this whole thing to keep from going to classes, which is why he went up to the schools with me. I would never purposely flunk and/or drop out of college. Ever.

So I was sad and I started in on a little self-pity party. What’s a party without some booze? I went to my source and got my drink of choice and chugged it… Needless to say I woke up this morning and I could feel every individual red blood cell slugging through my neck and head, but that’s beside the point. I know what I did was stupid and immature (not to mention illegal). I know that. It was what I thought I needed and I learned something from it: drinking sucks when you’re alone. Especially when I’m used to Chris monitoring me and fussing for drinking so much. I’m not doing it again.

Day 20

I woke up with a raging hangover. Yeah, yeah. It’s my own stupid fault. I hung out with my sister for a little while before going to see Chris’s mom. That was nice. We talked, like always, and I need that. So does she, I think. Then I pulled 6hrs at work. It was really, really dead at work. My friend the cook had a bad day and I spent the majority of my shift trying to talk to him and cheer him up, but I don’t know how well that went. All in all, it was a pretty average day. Not bad at all, just average.

I’m still missing Chris like crazy. I wish I could hear from him more but I really can’t complain. I just got a letter from him yesterday and that made all the crap with my dad worth it. I love hearing from him and I can worry a little less for a day or two because I know he is ok. Of course I would love to get to Skype him or get a phone call or something, but letters are wonderful.

Tomorrow his mom and I are going to church. After that, we’re going to a baby shower. Before I spoil all of that for you, though, I’ll go to bed. I’ll post about all that tomorrow.



{January 25, 2013}   Day 18

I just discovered my new favorite, late-night comfort food: cookie in a cup with rocky road ice cream. Check out cookie in a cup on Pinterest. Add rocky road ice cream. Eat.

On the average side of things, work was interesting. I worked the morning shift so 8-4… I cooked chicken, potato wedges, chili, and baked beans. I also cleaned the counters and tables, swept twice, and Windexed that would stand still long enough for me to wipe the fingerprints off of it. I even washed the walls. Yes, the walls of the kitchen.

If that doesn’t make me crazy enough, I came home to make enough dinner for my family, the neighbors, and for Chris’s mom to try some. Taco soup was a hit! At least I’m off work tomorrow.

Although, since I’m off work, Dad has decided that he’s going to go with me to both institutions to see what I could have done better to be enrolled. He believes that I purposely kept myself from being enrolled. If they called me today and agreed to let me pick up enrollment, I would have my books in hand and my butt in the seat for my next available class. This is not going to happen, though, and I have tried to explain to him just whyyyy this would not happen, but to no avail.

Oh, and my last letter to Chris got send back due to insufficient addressing information. I’ll re-address it and send it again in the morning. I want him to have the pictures he asked for so that he can decorate his locker like a middle school girl… I really think it is kind of cute(:

For now, though, I’m going to lay in bed under a heated blanket and eat my cookie-and-ice cream thing while possibly gaining a few pounds. Not to mention that Moonshiners is on again haha Goodnight, all!



{January 23, 2013}   Day 17

Working where I work kills me.  The people are ignorant and I get tired of explaining what comes with a combo aside from just the chosen entrée by about the third person who asks.  Dear reader:  if you are too lazy to read the menu and see what comes with a combo, please assume that it is a side and a drink.  Thank you.

Maybe I’m just scared about having to open the place in the morning.  Maybe I truly am fed up with people asking stupid questions.  Maybe I’m just down in the dumps after working for the first time since Friday.  Maybe.  I’ll just have to deal with it, though, because those are the facts.  I am, however, getting to fall asleep watching the newest Moonshiners.  The next episode will be the season finale :/

The Walking Dead will be coming back on February 10th and I’m so excited!  Chris will be missing it, though.  He was all excited after the mid-season finale and now he’s going to have to get caught up via Netflix when he gets back.  I can’t wait for him to get back so I’m going to go ahead and watch it without him.

The last letter he sent, he asked for some pictures of the two of us so he could hang them up in his locker.  I’m going to try to send them out tomorrow because he’s already had to wait a little while for them.  In fact, I’ve got three whole letters waiting on me to send them to him.  I guess I’ve kind of dropped the ball on that one. 



{January 22, 2013}   Day 16

I needed him today. I needed him to tell me that everything would be okay and that our future together would not be hindered because of what happened. I was officially denied entry into a new educational institution for this semester. This means I will have to start paying back student loans. I will also have to pick up a second job to do so. If all goes well, I will be able to make up for this with summer classes, but I don’t know. If I can’t remedy this, the idea of us having a life together will be pushed to the side.

Maybe this is supposed to tell me something. Things have happened, everyday troubles and magnanimous new ones alike, that I would usually talk to him about. Things have happened in such a short period of time (just over two weeks), all while he has been gone. Maybe I’m supposed to learn how to cope with life without him. He won’t be home that often anyway, being a truck driver and all, so maybe I’m supposed to be learning from this. It doesn’t make it easy, though. I’ve got a lot to think about.

On the bright side, Samantha got her driver’s license. Samantha is his younger step-sister and she is adorable(: Watch out, though. I’m serious. The streets are a little less safe tonight with her behind the wheel haha



et cetera